COOL BRITANNIA – Melbourne, Sydney & Superglue Surgery
- 6 days ago
- 3 min read
Well… what a weekend!
Friday morning we left Briz Vegas and landed in a cold Melbourne. And when I say cold, I mean “Queenslander looking around for a survival blanket” cold.
Now, if our UK family could hear us moaning they'd be furious.
“It's 11 degrees? That's beach weather, mate.”
Still, after months of Queensland sunshine, it felt like we'd arrived in Reykjavik.
The travel side of things, though? We've got it down to a fine art now.
Oversize instruments checked in. Passports handed to the tour manager. Everyone standing back calmly while the operation unfolds.
Poetry, I tell ya.
Like a well-oiled machine.
A slightly ageing machine that occasionally needs ibuprofen, but a machine nonetheless.
Enter Habib: Special Ops Transport Division
Every city has its own elite logistics unit.
In Melbourne, that unit is our mate Habib.
Absolute professional. We met him a few trips ago & now he's our guy. The 6th Beatle.
Waiting at the airport, engine running, ready to pack us old geezers, guitars, keyboards, snare drums and enough cables to start a small telecommunications company into the back of his very… 'preloved' maxi taxi.
Got us to The Prince Bandroom, St Kilda in no time though.
Then came the unload.
And that's when our guitarist Dave managed to jam his fretboard finger between a heavy guitar case and a metal grate!
Split the top clean open.
Lovely.
There was a moment of silence.
Then several choice 'lyrics' from Dave.
Followed immediately by Mick asking:
“Was it the whole finger?”
“No.”
“Was it the one next to it?!”
Compassion. That's what bands are built on.
We got him a coffee, sat him down and bought some super glue from the convenience store.
Yes, we literally glued the thing shut.
Classy.
To be fair, he played brilliantly all weekend.
We may have discovered a new performance-enhancing technique.
Soundcheck & The Mods Arrive
Soundcheck with head sound tech Tye – absolute legend.
Worked his magic (as always) and had us sorted in no time.
We were also joined by Setting Sons – Australia's premier tribute to The Jam.
Honestly, that Weller fella would've been proud.
Gary looked and sounded exactly like an old-school London Mod who'd just stepped out of 1979, coz he is. Carl was nice & tight on drums and Dave from Stoke (who doubled as our bassist for the weekend) absolutely smashed it.
Chelsea Dagger Gets The Brass Treatment
This tour we introduced a horn section.
And blimey, what a difference.
Our version of Chelsea Dagger featured two trombones, a sax and a trumpet courtesy of our mates from Melbourne Ska Orchestra.
Phenomenal!
Suddenly we sounded less like a pub band and more like a football riot with harmonies.
Friday Night: Football's Coming Home
We walked on to 'Three Lions' (Football's Coming Home).
The crowd erupted.
Whether football is actually coming home remains to be seen… but for three glorious minutes in St Kilda, everyone believed.
Then came the singalongs:
Oasis
The Verve
James
Travis
Stereophonics
And for reasons known only to ourselves, we even played the The Sweeney Theme.
If you were a UK kid in the '70s or '80s, that tune instantly transported you back to a living room with orange wallpaper, a dad shouting “leave the aerial alone!” and a plate of chips balanced dangerously on your knees.
Saturday: Sydney Bound
Up early.
And of course Habib was already waiting for us.
The man operates on a higher plane.
Flight to Sydney was delayed, but we still made soundcheck with Luke at Paddo RSL in plenty of time.
Top bloke. Great sound.
Another joyous night of:
Bitter Sweet Symphony
Chelsea Dagger
Laid
Country House
Dakota
Wonderwall
Size of a Cow
Why Does It Always Rain on Meeeeee?
The Sydney horn section were superb.
Super rehearsed. Sharp. All over it.
That's youth for ya.
Or “youffff” if you're from Norf Landan.
Back Home
Now we're back home in Briz Vegas.
Hundreds of tickets sold across the weekend.
Lots and lots of very happy people with accents from Glasgow to Cornwall, Cardiff to London and everywhere in between.
And honestly?
Our cup is full.
The sentimental bit…
We're out here doing it.
We rehearse hard.
We play hard.
And we absolutely love the soundtrack of our '90s UK youth.
But the best part?
We LOVE that you love it.
You sing every song with us.
That moment when 400 people wearing Adidas Gazelles throw their hands in the air for Song 2 and shout “WOOHOO!” , for 2 glorious minutes, you've forgotten about your troubles.
The random chats with strangers because you recognised each other's accent.
The stories.
The memories.
The feeling that, for a couple of hours, Melbourne or Sydney suddenly feels a bit like home.
Same time next tour then?
Just maybe with less super glue. Love ya. x Cool Britannia Mick, John, Neil, Dave & Dave.
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